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Are all the good men really taken?.

Women often say "all the good men are taken". But I think that statement is fundamentally incorrect. Think about it, for it to be true that all good men are taken, there has to be a finite supply of good men. Now while there is a finite number of men alive at any given point in time, the world population is always growing. Unless you live under a rock with no BBC, you should probably know that we are rapidly approaching the seven billion milestone. Believe it or not, over half of that number is male. Yes, you read right. There are more males than females on earth. How many of these "many many men" are good is up for debate. But can they all be taken?

Let's fix one variable and assume that you are considered a man when you reach the age of 18. The fact still remains that this finite supply is always growing. Even if there are voracious women lay-waiting unsuspecting boys just as they come of age, at some point, even if only for a split second, the good ones aren't all taken. Perhaps the problem with the women who complain, is that they aren't quick enough?

Putting the jokes aside, let's pull this apart some more. It should be pretty clear by now that there are men out there, and that at some point they have to be single, free, and disengaged. We aren't going to talk about what makes a man good, we will just assume that some are good, as is implied by the statement under consideration - there have to be good men for them to be taken. So why are women not finding them? I argue that it's not the lack of good men that is the problem, rather it's the viewpoint of women who are in search of good men. It should be obvious by now that while they were lamenting the lack of good men, other women were busy securing these same men who were thought by their peers to be lacking.

Why are the women who utter the captioned statement constantly losing out? It may well be that they are looking in all the wrong places. But this is highly unlikely. Women like the company of their peers, and often work and hang out in the same places. Therefore, unless the successful seekers have private hunting grounds, they are all looking in pretty much the same places. In any case, I think it is fair to say that there are good men across all strata of society, and a woman in search is bound to run into a few at some point.

Let's consider an alternative: perhaps their viewpoint is blinding some women, making it hard to see the good men who pass their way. If they constantly tell themselves that all the good ones are taken, and busy themselves envying the women who have found good ones, then when a good man comes along, they don't see him. Or, worse yet, they assume he is no good since he's not taken! Oh what irony! And don't be quick to dismiss this later possibility. All too often I hear women ask of a single man "what's wrong with him"? Their immediate assumption is that if he is single, then it's because women don't want him, and since women don't want him, there must be something wrong with him.  The advantage therefore goes to the women whose vision are not clouded by such presuppositions. While their counterparts are busy trying to figure out what's wrong with him, they are busying themselves finding out if he is the right guy for them. 

Score one for the woman who is truly looking, and not merely complaining.
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